Recently I spoke to a wonderful lady called Edye Hoffman who runs Dementia Compass. She was looking into how people think about dementia and how we treat people with it and we had a really interesting chat about my own experiences with my family and how some of my clients have been dealing with it in their own families too.
Edye is a fascinating person to talk to and it was so interesting what she was saying about people who have dementia as it applies to many of us, even those without dementia, because of our experience of lockdown. In lockdown we have been so limited in what we can do: stay inside and only exercise once a day outside. Therefore we had to retreat into our homes, motivated by fear and legislation, and many of us have struggled to get out again.
One of the important things with people starting on the road to dementia is to find anchors to their lives. Things that keep them grounded, to keep them in the present. Not only are ones for their finances important, but they also need them for cognitive, social, emotional and physical things too. What is the point of getting up in the morning? Who are we as a person? What connects us to the planet, our friends, our family?
The same can be true in retirement. Our persona is one of the working person, especially when our kids have flown the nest. Who are we? What is our purpose? Many of us turn to work and a sense of belonging to an organisation and doing good for the world / people around us. What happens when that finishes? Are you going to be like many of my clients who retire and then start something new and then retire again at a later date as they weren’t really ready the first time?
I always ask clients what are they going to do when they retire. Many of them have lots of ideas of travel, time spent with family, gardening, and cooking, but many do not know. I am sure that my Mum won’t mind me mentioning her, but she has recently retired from being a university lecturer and in order to keep her brain busy and to study something she wants to know more about, she has just started a Masters Degree (she only has one already and a PhD!!).
If we do not have things in our lives that keep us going, such as seeing people, doing activities both physical and mental, and have money to keep us comfortable, then no wonder we retreat into ourselves and find it hard to find our way out.
What are your anchors that are keeping you going?
